Absolute 100% Porn Truths

As a practicing Catholic, I swear on a stack of yarmukles that these are true.

1. Taryn Thomas missed the Tampa show last year because she had an e.coli infection.

2. Taryn Thomas is not a prostitute.

3. Nick Manning did a lot of damage with that Whiffle-ball-bat tantrum he threw.

4. Smelly Monkey was Jules Jordan.

5. Kid Vega$ is ready to make his comeback.

6. Skurt Lackwood only takes dildos in the ass for money.

7. So does Jack Lawrence.

8. David Stanley is 100% over being dumped by Ashley Blue.

9. Ashley Blue is making more cash now than when she was a JM contract whore.

10. Sierra Sinn has taken a crap on only one whore while doing her pissi...errr...squirting routine.

11. Brian "Plus 150" is Cytherea's baby's daddy.

12. Anyone cares about Harry Weiss' "you owe me" list.

13. Bridgette Kerkavoe would make a great mommy.

14. Brandon Irons is herpes-free.

15. Whores tell the truth.