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"Not Another Stupid Porn TV Show Spoof XXX"

Plot Abstract: When swanky porno director Jeff Mullen gets a little too boozy, he decides to create the "mother of all porn TV show spoofs." Unfortunately, his reach exceeds his grasp, as all types of general mayhem reduce his project, and him, into a quivering pile of rubble. The process of casting and shooting his magnum opus reveal the porn industry's penchant for backstabbing, catfighting and general ridiculousness.


Scene 1: Jeff Mullen and Mike Ramone drinking in a bar. In the background, Genesis Skye is sitting with Wankus, a bag of white powder on the table. Mullen says he came up with his greatest idea, "Not the Munsters XXX." Ramone nods his approval, then has to leave to stage a bondage phone-sex call with Ryan Knox.

Scene 2: Mullen pitches his idea to Larry Flynt, Michael Fattorosi and Shy Love. Michael has a sign around his neck reading "Larry's Fake Lawyer," Sheelaugh has a sign around her reading "Larry's Fake CPA." Dale DaBone takes notes, wearing a t-shirt reading, "I dated Jennifer Capriati." There is a gun on Larry's desk. A threeway scene between Kurt Lockwood and Ava & Mia Rose starts up in the background. Dustin Flynt barges into the office and demands to know why he's been disinherited. Mullen picks up a camera as the sex scene plays out. In the background, a gunshot is heard.

Scene 3: Mullen is on set, casting for Marilyn Munster. Several veteran whores appear...Sandra Romain, Danielle Derek, Audrey Bitoni, but they are brushed off as too ugly. Finally, he settles on Bridgette Kerkove, and begins filming with ChriatianXXX. Right after the pop shot, Skeeter Kerkavoe bursts in, demanding to know where Johnny Thrust is keeping Bridgette's child. Mullen berates Skeeter about his hairline. Skeeter beats Mullen to death with the JM Productions "collection bat," and instructs Johnny that he is now in control of this blockbuster's production, and to go and get him some Mountain Dew and Cascade. Bridgette is immediately fired and replaced with Teagen Presley, after she promises that her baby is at home.

Scene 4: Skeeter Kerkove continues casting for Herman Munster. Luke Ford and Chaim Amalek are off in the background, googling "Jonathan Pollard" on Chaim's laptop. Several imbecilic stiffs are brought in, Nick Manning, Donny Long, Kurt Lockwood. None can maintain an erection long enough with Lilly Munster (Melissa Lauren) Finally, Steve French appears, studded rings on all fingers and a "Donkey Punch" t-shirt on his back. He wins the role, the scene is fantastic. Suddenly, everyone empties the building. It appears that, simultaneously, Gram Ponante has shown up for some revenge with Lockwood, and they are in a full street showdown. A few yards away, ChristianXXX and Donny Long are also engaged in a street fight. Sadly, Brian Surewood comes barreling down the street. He is late for his time so he ignores the fighters in the street, hitting and killing all of them. A brief CSI: Miami-type scene ensues, Brian is led away in handcuffs. The camera shifts to the L.A. County jail, where Brandon Irons is visiting Brian, reminding him to take a herpes test when he is finally released in 2060.

Scene 5: While the carnage rages outside, Viv Thomas is filming the the obligatory "incongruous lesbian scene" with DaBella and Barbara Summer. A sign in the background reads, "All proceeds from this scene to go the "Gen Padova Center for Whore Fake-Cancer Research," recently founded by Sharon Mitchell.

Scene 6: A gratuitous sex scene with Marilyn, Eva Angelina, and Grandpa Munster Dave Cummings (if Dave can't make it...then Don Hollywood). Holly Randall at the camera. Teagen and Eva get into a catfight over who collects more for the scene. In the background, Leah Stevenson and Reg Senter are seen making off with Skeeter's checkbook. With no more money, everyone is sent home.

Scene 7: In a moving soliloquy, Kerkove regrets the life he has chosen. He calls Sasha Grey to ask for some philosophical advice at this time of his personal need. She quotes the wrong passages from Nietzsche. Instead of helping him, she causes him to shoot himself in the head. In the next camera, at least five people, male and female, are in the "Carson Daly" green room, uriniating on Sasha. While the urine drips down her sad face, she says, "I'm mainstream now." They DP her ass repeatedly, as she repeats, "But I'm existential."

As the credits roll, Donny Long is seen escaping from the JM Productions offices with a shoebox marked "Bukkake Payroll," money trailing behind him, and Jim Powers in pursuit. Unfortunately, a goat has escaped from the petting zoo next door. As Donald looks back to gauge his progress, he runs into the goat, castrating himself on the beast's horns.

[Fade to black]