The Lure of "The Mainstream"

Seems that a lot of the whores these days continue to be deluded into thinking their porn careers will land them in a career down the hill in Hollywood. I can see it now...



As far as I can tell, the only real stardom you will achieve will be as Earl & Bertha's favorite waitress at Sizzler. Spreading your legs for money usually forecloses any mainstream notariety. You can change your name a hundred times, it
won't help in the real world. Trust me, if someone named the Smelly Monkey can figure out you are the former co-star of Deep Throat who allowed, even encouraged, you 16-year old daughter to pose nude in a mainstream film, your ATMGTOGP-past will be discovered.

Still, most whores trot out this age-old desire with increasing frequency. Never mind that films generally require acting skills. Ginger Lynn constantly cries for mainstream acceptance and has for years, it's a shame she couldn't act injured if Shant Stant wacked her in the kneecap. A lack of talent sticks out like Danielle Derek's deformed chest, and while you might fein enjoyment of Brandon Irons' dick, that isn't talent, it's Xanax.

Agents won't help you, either. You get some Hollywood fringe player like Ric Williams who promises to trade on his Hollywood mainstream experience. "Experience" here is code-talk for, "My career as a Hollywood agent failed." Too bad no one bothered to notice the only actresses he represented were a few B-movie scream queens. And I am really glad he likes to go around spouting California's bonding requirments, because the whores don't care. Their life is dominated by money, and if their suitcase agent pimp gets them enough work to support the requisite drugs/lip injections/fake tits/designer sunglass collection, they could care less about your bond or your license or your whatever.

I'm not saying whores can't make money after they are done, but they certainly can't be in the public spotlight before that porn taint shines through. If you have some legitimate talent, use it. Savanna Samson styles herself as a vintner, and I think that's great. If she wants to work at developing that and can avoid the crave of attention, good winemakers bank a lot more than the best of the whores. Of course, we all know the ultimate delusional attention whore Mary Carey, who fancies politics as her "talent." Fine, babe, if you think that losing to Gary Coleman and being ridiculed by Howard Stern is a "talent," your brain is as fake as that rack you pawned off as real.