PissOnStormy.net - Topic 3: Stormy = Diva

Diva: An operatic prima donna. (American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language)

Diva: Nowadays it has come to define the materialistic and demanding cuntbag. Most often, this modern low-to-middle-class household 'diva' is not relevant on so much as a local level; let alone the celebrity she tends to perceive herself as (even though she has more myspace friends and photo comments than all of *~da haterz~*. (UrbanDictionary.com, retrieved 13 Feb 2009)

With this in mind, let's roll the tape.

"--Tampa Tribune Tampa- A 29-year-old porn star who lives part time in Tampa and is considering a run for the U.S. Senate in Louisiana left a scheduled interview in a huff Tuesday when she was turned away from The News Center in downtown Tampa.

"Stormy Daniels, star of such adult award-winning films as "Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre," was scheduled to participate in a satellite video interview with a NBC affiliate in Baton Rouge, La., at 12:30 p.m. today from the News Channel 8 newsroom.

"She parked in spaces reserved for photographers and executives of Media General, which owns The Tampa Tribune, TBO.com and WFLA, Channel 8. Security officers told her she couldn't park there and had to park across the street in a visitors' lot.

"She hopped into her car and sped away. Attempts to reach her have been unsuccessful."

After some called the waambulance for this poor whore, she opined, "Yes, I did leave the NBC interview. I left because the security guard...was extremely rude to me. I was told on the phone that I could park where I did and there was no sign on the spot stating otherwise. I knew it would become an issue so I took a photo of it. Contrary to what the article says, no one attempted to contact me for my side of the story...so much for unbiased journalism, eh? I have been called a lot of things before, but never a diva. I found it amusing."

No one attempted to contact you for your side of the story? Why not? Was it either (i) because you threw a hissy fit and drove away from the very people to whom you could tell your "story" or (ii) because you sped off to snort cocaine rails off Hailey Young's forehead? Please, let us know.

Diva: Stormy Daniels (Willie D's Jankity Pornoblog, 2009)

PissOnStormy.net - Topic 2: Porno Job Discrimination

According to a student at Louisiana State University, you can't discriminate against someone "because of their job." This, of course, falls into the context of a professional cum swallower pretending to vie for a seat in the United States Senate.

I realize that you, the casual reader, might chalk this up to the innocence and idealism of youth. But there's a lot more to it than a simple statement. I'm going to make the case that it's perfectly reasonable to discriminate against someone's chosen profession. Especially when it comes to public service.

Let's start with some easy assumptions. At age twenty-four, Stormy Daniels has already made a bad string of life choices. She chose to become a porno whore. She augments that income by stripping in clubs. Aside from that, all she really does is take up air and occasionally support the local Porn Valley economy by blowing up her horrible tits, and spending some scratch on new Donna Karan sunglasses and Gucci handbags. In this respect, she is an anti-Joe the Plumber--Joe has no political brainpower but produces measurable economic output, Stormy pretends to know politics but is nothing more than a lazy sex worker. Add to this her marriage and divorce to fellow porno creep Pat Myne, all of her mewling about being in The 40-Year Old Virgin and that big push to go "mainstream" with failed agent Ric Williams, and you have a lot of life mistakes by age 24. Honestly, is this the kind of person you want to represent your district in Washington? And all of it centers around the world of porno.

Let's also not forget that the concept of discrimination is a legal one. I am free to vote for or against anyone for any number of personal reasons which I am not required to volunteer to the Discrimination Nazis. Remember that fat skank from Minnesota who stood up at a John McCain rally and called President Obama an Arab? Guess what, I doubt anyone changed her mind in the following months; and if she votes for JMC for that reason, it's her own business. Granted, she made a fool of herself on national television, but at least she doesn't have to let Nick Manning drop some loads on her chin. If I think that porno whores who spread veneral diseases around like a Grey Poupon convention shouldn't be in Congress, then that's my standard and you can't take it away.

Of course, all this ties in with my previous assertion that Stormy is probably a whore. And since I don't think whores should be Senators, I conclude that She ought to do what every other self-loathing resident of Chatsworth will do tomorrow morning: get up and go to work, opening your vagina for the next halfway house reject to blow his nad sauce on your kisser.

Finally, let me say that Louisiana should just be allowed to get washed away by the next Cat 4 hurricane (I learned that terminology while watching Stephanie Abrams from the Weather Channel, and jacking off). The Mississippi lock and dam system is gradually causing Louisiana to wash away into the Gulf of Mexico, New Orleans was a city built under water, it's the only state in the country that hasn't adopted the Uniform Commercial Code, and it's a natual breeding ground for cholera. Let it go, bring in Guam as the 50th state so we don't have to change the flag. Geaux Tigers.

PissOnStormy.net - Topic 1: Is She Acutally a Porno Whore?

One of the big objections I have to porno whores--or porno mopes, for that matter--gaining access to elected office is that they are whores. Whores have sex in the dirt for money. Yes, yes, you say, But Willie, there are plenty of whores in Congress. Those are "metaphorical" whores. They do not suck dick for a living, Larry Craig notwithstanding. Even the Italians were outraged that Cicciolina managed to get elected, and they are some of the sleaziest politicos out there.

Then we must ask: is Stormy Daniels actually a whore?

Surprised? Looking at her record, she might be the laziest person in porndom, and one of the most overhyped. In 2008, she appeared in a whopping four videos, none of which were reviewed very favorably. The only video reviewed by notable critic Houston Don gave her two of five stars, not exactly a ringing endorsement of her sex skills. While I realize she may be under contract, she would have to be collecting at least $20M per appearance to maintain the kind of lifestyle of a glamourous dirty sex worker. Either that or she has side jobs in Tampa at the local Sizzler showing old folks to their seats. To me, four average videos per year does not make a whore. I call that a part-time job. Add to that the lack of anal sex, which is pretty much de rigeur for any self-loating whore these days.

On the other hand, working in her whore-favor is that giant overinflated chest of hers. One wrong stare from her chief fanboy Alex "Monstar" Raymond and she could flood the San Fernando Valley with silicone. Whores often have huge fake tits. Look at her political master Mary Carey--she claimed her giant rack was all natural, until she got caught in the lie.

Ah, yes, lies. Lying is another key element here--whores lie. A lot. One of Stormy's favorite lies is her "mainstream appeal." She really digs her "mainstream" film roles, where she really stretches her acting talent by playing (at various times) a stripper, a porn whore, and a masseuse. I'm sure that's the kind of range Meryl Streep craves. Another lie is her name--all whores have fake names, and our little whore ain't letting it slip just yet. Of course, since she's bathing in all the newfound attention, she's facing one of a whore's greatest fears--having your true life revealed. The whole back story that whores make up--it all comes crashing down. That's one lie you won't see undone on a sheer whim. Whores gotta have some kind of dignity.

Attention is another big whore-indicator. Porno girls just looove attention. Good or bad. Stormy not only takes the party line of this one--she is the standard bearer. Anytime she can point to a life accomplishment that might indicate she is something other than a glorified jizz-guzzler, she does it as much and as often as possible.

In the final analysis, Stormy Daniels is probably a whore, though not a very good one. That's my opinion, at least.

Welcome to PissOnStormy.net !!!

So lately another porno whore is in the midst of some massive attention grab, pretending to run for office. No...this time it isn't booze queen Mary Cook aka Mary Carey, now it's Stormy Daniels and her massively oversized tits. To be truthful, I don't know which is larger: her fake inflato-chest or her need for attention.

So it seems Whore Daniels thinks she would be a great United States Senator. I know Larry Craig probably likes to suck cock just like she does, but at least he only does it as a hobby, not as his full-time profession. Yes, I realize this implies being a porno whore is a "profession," but let's not get carried away.

I will be using this space to point out why this skank is about the biggest attention whore I have ever whitnessed, why she would make a pathetic politician, and why the jizzrage who started their "Elect Stormy" website should be taken out back and horsewhipped with Marc Wallice's Dick o' Death.

Stay tuned.