PissOnStormy.net - Topic 1: Is She Acutally a Porno Whore?

One of the big objections I have to porno whores--or porno mopes, for that matter--gaining access to elected office is that they are whores. Whores have sex in the dirt for money. Yes, yes, you say, But Willie, there are plenty of whores in Congress. Those are "metaphorical" whores. They do not suck dick for a living, Larry Craig notwithstanding. Even the Italians were outraged that Cicciolina managed to get elected, and they are some of the sleaziest politicos out there.

Then we must ask: is Stormy Daniels actually a whore?

Surprised? Looking at her record, she might be the laziest person in porndom, and one of the most overhyped. In 2008, she appeared in a whopping four videos, none of which were reviewed very favorably. The only video reviewed by notable critic Houston Don gave her two of five stars, not exactly a ringing endorsement of her sex skills. While I realize she may be under contract, she would have to be collecting at least $20M per appearance to maintain the kind of lifestyle of a glamourous dirty sex worker. Either that or she has side jobs in Tampa at the local Sizzler showing old folks to their seats. To me, four average videos per year does not make a whore. I call that a part-time job. Add to that the lack of anal sex, which is pretty much de rigeur for any self-loating whore these days.

On the other hand, working in her whore-favor is that giant overinflated chest of hers. One wrong stare from her chief fanboy Alex "Monstar" Raymond and she could flood the San Fernando Valley with silicone. Whores often have huge fake tits. Look at her political master Mary Carey--she claimed her giant rack was all natural, until she got caught in the lie.

Ah, yes, lies. Lying is another key element here--whores lie. A lot. One of Stormy's favorite lies is her "mainstream appeal." She really digs her "mainstream" film roles, where she really stretches her acting talent by playing (at various times) a stripper, a porn whore, and a masseuse. I'm sure that's the kind of range Meryl Streep craves. Another lie is her name--all whores have fake names, and our little whore ain't letting it slip just yet. Of course, since she's bathing in all the newfound attention, she's facing one of a whore's greatest fears--having your true life revealed. The whole back story that whores make up--it all comes crashing down. That's one lie you won't see undone on a sheer whim. Whores gotta have some kind of dignity.

Attention is another big whore-indicator. Porno girls just looove attention. Good or bad. Stormy not only takes the party line of this one--she is the standard bearer. Anytime she can point to a life accomplishment that might indicate she is something other than a glorified jizz-guzzler, she does it as much and as often as possible.

In the final analysis, Stormy Daniels is probably a whore, though not a very good one. That's my opinion, at least.